It’s a fifteen-year-old story. I was too absorbed in my depression and neglected to visit a friend after she gave birth to her first child. With every day that passed, I felt the dread of facing her and avoided doing so. When I was finally able to connect and ask her forgiveness, she did not want anything to do with me.

I had been a loyal and devoted friend to her for years – I shared my apartment and bed with her for a month when she was in between homes. I took care of her when she got drunk, and much more.

I am not saying we should always forgive others, but if you genuinely love someone, and they have been loyal and supportive of you, you try to understand and forgive them.

This story has still been alive in me all those years. In my dreams, my ex-friend and I would reunite as the loving friends we once were.

As the years went by, I learned to accept my longing for reconciliation and the pain of loss this story had generated. But last week, after having the same dream again, I felt vigilant about it. I decided that enough is enough – it’s time to put an end to it.

I was not willing to continue being at the mercy of this wounding. I have built a beautiful life and accomplished a great deal. What was the point of being taunted by a past I could not change, or longing for love from someone who did not love me?

The next night, before I went to sleep, I imagined myself meeting my ex-friend in my dream again. In my mind’s eyes, I waved my hands up and down vigorously, like I was creating an energetic boundary between us. I said, “You are no longer a part of my life. I forgave myself for the mistake that led to our separation. You do not love me, and for that reason, I no longer want your love”.

That night, I saw her in my dream. We looked at each other with some anger, then passed each other without saying a word, and I was okay with it. I no longer reached out or longed for her love – I moved on to other dream events. 

The next morning, I woke up feeling elated and invincible – after more than fifteen years, I was finally able to break the spell and shift my subconscious to stop desiring something that only causes me pain.

Then I tried to make sense of it. I always encourage myself and others to accept our negative, unwanted thoughts and undesired longings. This was a point of no acceptance. So have I been wrong all these years? 

On the contrary! My vigilance helped me attain a deeper level of acceptance, one that went beyond accepting my longing, wound, loss, and pain; I had to accept reality. 

My subconscious longing for my lost friendship was based on my refusal to accept that my ex-friend did not love me anymore. There was still an unconscious hope that she would change her heart. 

Only by accepting the painful reality could I finally let go of the pain it was causing me. 

It was not bypassing or overcoming the pain – it was confronting it that finally allowed me to move on. 

Gemini is the sign ruled by Mercury, the planet that governs our mind. Mercury does not rule dreams, as dreams stem directly from our subconscious psyche, governed by Pluto.

In my mind, I was already at peace with my loss. In my subconscious, I was still longing for my ex-friend’s love. In my visualization practice, I used my mind to generate vigorous and intentional thoughts, asserting my will on my psyche, and changing a psychological pattern that did not serve me well.

In the past, I used a similar practice to deal with repeated nightmares, but until last week, I’d never used it to end repeated pain cycles that derived from real-life events. 

During this Gemini week, contemplate or journal on repeated patterns that you would like to end, pains or longings that you want to let go of. Then use your mind to envision how you would face the person or situation in an empowering way, either in your dream or in real life. What do you need to accept that you haven’t yet? 

Tap into the power of your mind! It is much more powerful than you realize. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experience practicing with it.

Have a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael