I was a first-year-student, and he was a senior, tall, dark-haired, with an Italian charm. He asked me out and we went to watch a movie at the cinema. Then we went for a walk by the beach and we kissed.

It was probably one of the best nights I’d had until that point in my life. It made me feel dizzy, nauseous, and overwhelmed. So I made the only reasonable decision I could make at that time – I was not going to see him again. 

I did not answer his calls for days. When I finally did, I told him that I was not interested in seeing him again because I thought we were not a good match. To guarantee the end of his pursuit, I recommended that he start dating my friend. 

He was highly disappointed, and he did not understand why I was acting like that (neither did I). After a few weeks, though, he got over me and started dating the friend I mentioned on our call. 

When I saw him with my friend, I got back home, entered my room, closed the door, got into bed, and covered myself as well as I could. Unfortunately, it did not alleviate the wrenching feeling in my stomach and throughout my whole body. 

I had just realized that I pushed him away, not because I did not want him, but because I wanted him too much! And now, it was too late. I lost him forever. 

A few weeks ago, during a session, my client and I made a shocking discovery. We realized that she was so afraid of losing anything that brought her joy that she was pushing it away. She made sure that she was never joyful, so that she could not lose anything. 

This session brought back memories of the young love I had not allowed myself to enjoy. 

It feels counterintuitive. We all believe that we want to be happy and successful. That we want to be loved and have great relationships, that we want to have joy and fun in life. However, the truth is that most of us also have some fear associated with these desires. 

Getting what we want is scary because it comes with the fear of losing it. Even when I met my husband, I felt dizzy, nauseous, and overwhelmed. Being 25 years older than I was on that first date by the beach, I already knew how to recognize my fear, to admit it and embrace it, but at the same time, not to let the fear manage me.

Failing to get what we want is also scary. We are sometimes so afraid that we won’t make it, so we sabotage ourselves and push away the things we want, to guarantee that we will never fail. 

If you push a relationship away before it even starts, the relationship can’t fail. If you never finish writing your book, you won’t fail to publish it. If you never open the business you’ve always dreamt about, this business will never fail. If you say you don’t want to have children, you won’t fail in getting pregnant. 

This week, we shift from Gemini season and the realm of the mind to Cancer season and the realm of our emotions. 

Cancer season is a time to pay attention to what we feel and how our emotions shape our path. 

We most often notice our emotions when we experience feelings such as sadness, anger, frustration, joy, or love. We don’t always recognize our fears and the way they impact our decisions. We especially don’t notice these counterintuitive fears that keep us away from what we truly want. 

On Wednesday this week, the Cancer New Moon will conjunct Jupiter, the planet of good luck and expansion. It will be an excellent opportunity to connect with the deep, unseen emotions that govern our lives. This unique conjunction with Jupiter will allow us to expand ourselves emotionally – we can become aware of emotions we might not have been able to deal with up until now. 

If there is something significant missing in your life, whether it’s love, success, purpose, friendships, children, abundance, or health, feel the emotions you have around these desires. Close your eyes, put your hands on your heart, and feel them in your body. What do you feel? 

The key is always to allow your emotions the space they need, rather than suppressing them. The best way to overcome fear, frustration, or any other emotion that stands in your way is to feel it.

If you wish to learn more, don’t miss your chance to sign up for my FREE webinar, The 4 Hidden Saboteurs Keeping You From Your Dream Life (And the Planetary Balance Method That Neutralizes Them Forever), happening June 25th. There are a few spots left! 

Happy Cancer New Moon,

With love,

Yael